Sunday, June 7, 2009

Classified Ads from the Dalaran Daily News

Original Thread Here:

DOCTOR NEEDED: The free-spirited daughter of a prominent family has gotten herself into a disturbing and unfortunate situation. We are seeking a physician who can fix this problem. Discretion in this matter is greatly appreciated. Please inquire at the Ironforge throne room.

HELP WANTED: I fell in love with him because he's very tall and good with animals, but lately I retch at just the thought of those ginger... well, long story short, I need the services of a skilled assassin, or, at least, a good divorce lawyer. Leave a message for V. Windrunner at the Ledgerdemain Lounge, and I will be in touch.  

ENGINEER/CONTRACTOR NEEDED: Looking for someone who can assess the feasibility of removing four large and extremely inconvenient pillars from my room. They've really been a nuisance for me. Send all inquiries to Talon King Ikiss at Sethekk Halls.  

LOOKING FOR COMPANIONSHIP: I am not what some people would consider conventionally attractive, but I have a big heart and a lovely sense of humor, and I am also princess of my own underground kingdom. Appearance does not matter; I am so very lonely. Please visit me at Mauradon.  

Achingly, Theradras  

SINGLE BLACK DRAGON, LOOKING FOR TRUE LOVE: I am Nefarian, scion of the Black Dragonflight. But you can just call me Vic. I'm suave, sexy, and I have a fabulous penthouse apartment at Blackrock Mountain with a spectacular terrace.  

In the past, I've been a bit of a cad. Women meant nothing to me. Less than nothing. But lately, I've realized that the grand game of life I thought I was playing was, in fact, playing me. So I'm looking for something a little more serious. I'd like to meet an intelligent and attractive lady who shares my interest in breeding an invincible race of chromatic dragons. Also, I hope you like dogs, because I've got a big one.  

If you think you're right for me, let's get together and make that beautiful mistake that all mortals make. Let the games begin!  

LOSE WEIGHT! HAVE MORE ENERGY! RESTORE YOUR SEXUAL VITALITY! Night Elf healers have long known about the miraculous properties of Morrowgrain. However, this rare herb, which only grows in the rich volcanic soil of the Un'Goro Crater, has always been too scarce for anyone to distribute widely across Azeroth.  

Recently, however, the Arch-Druid Fandral Staghelm has developed a new plan for obtaining Morrowgrain in unprecedented volumes, and we can now make this miracle drug available to you at a very reasonable price. Jenal in Darnassus has the hook-up. You can usually find him hanging out in an alley in the Cenarion Enclave.

1 comment:

  1. Awesome posts! It's great that you're keeping track of them on a blog now so they don't go missing. I'm really surprised you haven't had more comments, considering how popular your posts are and the fact that they linked you on Anyway, keep it up! :)