Friday, June 5, 2009

Ragnaros is conducting layoffs.

Original thread here:

Majordomo Executus: "Hello. You can come in here and have a seat."  

Scarshield Spellbinder: "Thanks."  

Majordomo Executus: "I'm not sure if you've met Golemagg the Incinerator before. He's from HR."  

Scarshield Spellbinder: "Hi."  

Golemagg: "Good afternoon."  

Scarshield Spellbinder: "So, guys, what is this meeting about?"  

Majordomo Executus: "Well, as you may know, our firm, like any other business, is facing difficulties during these tumultuous and unprecedented economic circumstances. Compounding these general difficulties is the perception that our operation here has been superseded by so-called higher tiers of content. Accordingly, we are conducting a top-to-bottom review of our finances to assess any redundancies which may exist, so that we can continue to compete in this difficult marketplace and provide the Firelord with the same peerless service he's come to expect."  

Scarshield Spellbinder: "Uh, I'm completely on board with your quality service initiatives, and you'll see I've been working enthusiastically for the company for more than five years."

Golemagg: "Uh huh. And how many raids have you wiped in the last six months?"  

Scarshield Spellbinder: "I am not sure I could tell you, off the top of my head."  

Golemagg: "Ballpark figure. Best guess."  

Scarshield Spellbinder: "I don't know. Not a lot."

Majordomo Executus: "Unfortunately, that's what we're here today to discuss."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "Well, I mean, we're a low-level pack at the front of the instance. There's really not a lot more that we can do than what we're doing."

Golemagg: "So, surely you can understand that as we retrench, we're looking to cut unnecessary trash mobs from our payroll."

Majordomo Executus: "Remember, we don't call them trash mobs. They're interesting content that doesn't drop loot."

Golemagg: "Well, what we're trying get at is that you're not interesting enough for us to keep you on."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "I don't understand. I'm part of the classic Blackrock Spire team. How can you be cutting me after five years of dedicated service."

Golemagg: "Well let's talk about that. I've got your performance evaluations here."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "They've been nothing but positive."

Golemagg: "Tell me about all these times you were mind-controlled by players."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "So I'm susceptible to mind control. I'm only an orc, like any other."

Golemagg: "Under skills here, it mentions a buff called 'Resist Fire.' Tell me about that."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "It does exactly what the tooltip says. As of patch 2.1, it no longer works on targets above level 63."

Majordomo Executus: "Surely you understand how your susceptibility to mind control and your 'Resist Fire' ability have been inconvenient for the organization over the years."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "Majordomo, I'm not sure that's fair. This is really old stuff you're bringing up."

Majordomo Executus: "We are aware of this, but cuts have to come from somewhere. We're really sorry this had to happen, but it is, unfortunately, quite necessary. We do thank you for your years of service."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "So what happens now."

Golemagg: "Your employment is terminated, as of five o-clock today. We are offering a severence package for our former employees that I think you'll find quite fair. We are committed to taking care of you."

Scarshield Spellbinder: "Uh, where do I go to get this severance?"

Golemagg: "You can pick it up at the window directly behind me."

1 comment:

  1. Ahahaha - I remember the first time I went to MC. I think every guild did the same thing to all its first-time raiders: "Hey, if you go to the window right over here you can see Ragnaros!"


    "Screw you guys. :("